What’s this about wind?
If you’ve been following this blog for several years (and if so, thank you!), you may recall reading our post from 2021 – The North Wind Blew. It told the “origin story” of our move to Portugal.
In that post we explained that the “North Wind” analogy came from Chocolat, one of Mary’s favorite movies.
In the movie, Juliette Binoche’s character, Vianne, lives a nomadic life – moving to a new place when she feels the north wind blowing.
We had felt our own north wind, and it prompted our big move to Portugal, in 2021 – the middle of the pandemic.
And now, guess what? The north wind blew again.
Where to now?
On September 23, 2024 we’ll start a 4 day journey that will end in Clarkston, Washington, just across the Snake River from Lewiston, Idaho. (Lewis and Clark, get it?) Never heard of it? Neither had we, until our son and daughter-in-law moved to Lewiston.
Image credit: Dsdugan on Wikimedia, Public Domain image
A year ago we decided we wanted to move back to be closer to our family. Very specifically, we wanted to live near our two year old grandson, Guy William. We want to watch him grow up and be active participants in his life. And we wanted to be an easier distance from our two daughters back in Indiana – that was the icing on the cake. We just had to wait until now in order to get out of our lease.
Living in Portugal has given us the experience we wanted to have. Now we’re preparing for a new adventure in a new place.
Reflecting on our time in Portugal
For many years we wanted to live outside the US. It wasn’t for the political reasons that motivate many people today. We wanted to experience life in another culture.
During our working years, we had traveled extensively and often said to ourselves “wouldn’t it be interesting to actually live here”. Mike tried repeatedly to get an expat assignment, with the company where he worked, but never got one.
Once we retired, though, we made it happen.
What’s been good
Here are a few things that we have especially enjoyed about living in Portugal.
- Making new friends. We have met many wonderful people here. Some have been our neighbors. Some we met through this blog. Mike has made new friends through the weekly men’s coffee group he attends and through his various volunteer gigs. All of them have enriched our lives in different ways. We will miss their physical presence when we leave, but hope to stay in touch virtually.
- Living in three different cities – Porto, Parede, and Lisbon. We came here intending to live in several areas of the country, and then, maybe, settling somewhere. The three places we have lived are very different and each was interesting in its own way.
- Traveling to other parts of Portugal. We visited the Algarve region in southern Portugal and several cities in central Portugal – Setúbal, Nazaré, Obidos, Coimbra, Aveiro. Everywhere we went taught us a little more about the long history and vibrant culture of the country.
- Traveling to other countries. With inexpensive airfares and no border restrictions in Europe, we enjoyed traveling to Spain, Greece, Sweden, Italy (twice!), Slovenia, and Austria. And earlier this year we did a short trip to Morocco in Northern Africa.
- Café culture. There’s almost nothing better than sitting at an outdoor table on a warm evening, having a caneca or a vinho branco, and laughing with friends.
- The variety of dining options. Whether we’re feeling adventurous or just want some comfort food, we have enjoyed sampling the multitude of restaurants here, especially in Lisbon. Sitting at the table for as long as we liked. Almost never feeling pressured to pay the bill so they could turn the table.
- Walking everywhere (even on rainy days!). At slow speed we could appreciate the little details of the neighborhoods where we lived and the places we visited.
We never opened this door in Porto.
Who knows where it might have led us?
- Using mass transit. In the cities, we have regularly used the metro, buses, and commuter trains. For longer trips, we’ve traveled on low-speed trains, high-speed trains, and long-distance buses. We have (mostly) not missed owning and maintaining a car.
- The rich blue sky. Looking up on most days and seeing the color that Mike calls “Iberian azul”.
A few things we won’t miss
We have always tried to maintain a positive tone in our posts, so you might have the impression that life here is all pastéis de nata and vinho verde, though not at the same time (usually). There are, however, some aspects of our life here that we’ll be happy to leave behind.
- The friction of daily life. Everyone complains about the bureaucracy, and we had our moments of frustration, too. But in a place where we don’t always understand the unwritten rules or customs, just getting everyday tasks accomplished often takes three times as long. (See “learn the language” below).
- The “head cracker” in the kitchen. Mike won’t miss the massive stone shelf and supports above our stove. But he’ll have the knots on his head to remember it by.
- Never feeling like we’re on vacation. When traveling to a foreign country, you expect everything to be different – language, money, transit options, etc. Part of the fun is navigating everything that’s new and different… for a short time. But we’ve found that when we travel around the EU, we experience the same kind of friction as living in Portugal. So we never really “get away”. Sometimes on vacation, we don’t want to have to think!
- Filing tax returns in two different countries. We’ll have to do this complicated process one more time, for 2024. And then, after that, we’ll probably understand how it all works.
- Bacalhau. At the risk of offending any of his Portuguese friends, Mike will simply say that he never developed a taste for the dried, salted codfish that might be the national dish of Portugal. They say there are over 1,000 ways to prepare it. Mike tried four of them, and three disappointed.
What we would do differently
As we’ve reflected on our experiences here, it’s been easy to get into a game of “woulda, coulda, shoulda…” But here are a few things we might do differently if we were starting this adventure over.
- Learn the language. In Portugal, English is taught in the elementary schools and almost everyone we’ve met who’s under 50 will tell you that they speak “a little” English. (And then they’ll usually dazzle you with their fluency.) We have been able to get by with a limited vocabulary – Bom dia (good day or good morning), por favor (please), obrigada / obrigado (thank you for Mary / Mike).
Our experience has been that knowing Portuguese is not a necessity to get by here. Until it is.
We’ve had some recent experience with ambulance drivers, and the staff in the public hospital system (a story for another day) where being at least semi-fluent would have been very helpful. We know a smattering of niceties, maybe 1,000 nouns, and can puzzle out a restaurant menu. But that knowledge doesn’t help much in a crisis or difficult situation.
After we made the decision to move back to the US, a year ago, we lost most of our motivation to learn Portuguese. But our lives here would have been richer and more interesting had we made a better effort. - Keeping a home back in the US. Our last house in the states was pretty high-maintenance and we didn’t want to try to keep it up from a long distance. We also didn’t want to feel tentative about the move. We were going to be immigrants, not expats.1
So while we didn’t burn the boats, we sold the house, gave away all the stuff, and bought one-way tickets.
But if we were to do this again, we would downsize into a small home or apartment somewhere that could hold some of our “stuff” and that we could use as a home base in between extended trips abroad. - Being “part-time expats”. This is an idea, along with the “home base” above, that we are seriously considering. Instead of moving to a new country, we’re thinking about longer trips – 2 to 3 months at a time – to several places. Traveling slowly. Maybe a month in Paris, followed by a month in Berlin, then a month in Vienna. Then back home.
We want the extended stays in order to get a feel for the rhythms of life in a place, a chance to experience how people go about their daily lives. Where do they shop for groceries? How does the metro work? What happens around here on Saturday night? And all of it without having to sort through the mind-numbing and time consuming processes of establishing residency.
Staying longer should also help us limit our long-distance airline flights to one time per year. That won’t eliminate our carbon footprint, but it will help us control it.
So our 2025 travel plans may look different.
Looking ahead
Twice during our lives we have radically downsized and started over in a new place. This move back will be our third time. It’s foolish to say it will be the last.
We have a lot to look forward to. Most exciting is the chance to be real-time grandparents. Mary and Mike get to become Bee-bee and Pop-pop in the flesh, not just on FaceTime.
We will be settling into a new community. But unlike when we arrived in Portugal, we have at least visited this area once. And we know the language.
There will be opportunities to explore the western US, Alaska, and Canada. Those are trips we are looking forward to. A trip to Japan is on the wish list, too.
Our time in Portugal has given us a new perspective on living in the US. We looked at things with different eyes each time we visited family “back home” over the last three years. But we expect much of what we see in our new location will be familiar. And, of course, there will be some regional phrases and traditional foods that we’ll have to get used to, and some events that will be new to us (like rodeos?).
Last week Mary said “I miss the sound of my own language”. That shouldn’t be a problem.
Some things won’t change
Our focus here at The Cook and The Writer will remain the same – trying to tell good stories about good food and interesting places.
We have a queue of Europe stories that we haven’t told yet. We’ll get to them, along with pieces about what we’re seeing / hearing / tasting in our new location.
Mary recently read Steve Hoffman’s book, “A Season for That: Lost and Found in the Other Southern France” 2, in which he describes how he and his family moved to a small village in southern France for six months. At the end of the book, Steve talks about what he learned about “time and how to live in it”. Instead of thinking of time as a linear progression, always moving forward and obsessing about “making progress” on something, he saw the people around him living with a circular view of time – based on the cycle of the seasons.
There is only one opportunity a year to pick grapes in a wine region. When that opportunity arrives, then all you do for that season is pick grapes, with the attendant anticipation as the season approaches, the deep immersion into the season itself, and a weary fulfillment when it’s done.
The grape harvest cedes its place to hunting season, which overlaps with mushroom season, which eventually makes way for pruning season, which everybody will be sick of when droplets of sap appear at the tips of pruned vine branches in March.
And so on—as a lifetime of seasons spiral, with no requirement that any of them be better than the last, simply that they be anticipated and lived through with a certain competence and attention.
Steve Hoffman, A Season for That: Lost and Found in the Other Southern France
(pp. 354 – 355). Crown. Kindle Edition.
That’s what we’re looking for as we come back. Living the cycle of seasons with our family. Hopefully demonstrating some competence. And making certain there’s a “travel season” every so often.
We hope you’ll stick around to see what happens next. You never know when the North Wind will blow next.
Until next time / Até a próxima vez
Mary and Mike
The Cook and The Writer
Where would you like to go for a month or three? Leave your wish list in the comments below or via the Contact Us form.
- Our definition of the terms is that an “expat” or “expatriate” is someone who moves to another country for a period of time, but has the intention to return. An “immigrant” is someone who moves to another country with no intention of returning. A common misinterpretation, that we disagree with, is to call white people expats and brown people immigrants.
↩︎ - This is a direct link to bookshop.org. If you buy a book from them, you can designate that a portion of the sale price be given to an independent bookstore of your choice. Yes, you’ll pay a bit more than buying at Amazon, but the difference benefits independent bookstores, not a billionaire. We do not receive any affiliate payment if you buy a copy. If that changes in the future, we’ll let you know.
↩︎
Mike, I have finally returned to Lisbon after my long stay in Philadelphia and Connecticut. I have therefore been able to carefully read your email and all the attachments. I am sure you and Mary are enjoying your return home and the time spent with your grandchildren. Rereading your notes about your experience in Portugal has been pleasant and helpful in seeing things from other perspectives. See you, I hope, soon!
Hello my friends! How very odd, we seem to be following a similar pattern to you, again! So much of what you wrote about the positives and negatives of living abroad are on our list as well, as is the idea of doing extended travel of 1-3 months at a go in the future. We are looking at moving back to the states next year to be closer to my parents. On to the next adventure!
Hi Heather. The “gravitational pull” of family is very real. We didn’t anticipate that when we moved to Portugal, but from the moment Guy was born, we could feel it. I think we’re better people for having had the experience, and we’ve certainly learned from it. Keep us posted about your future plans and we’ll cheer you on.
Our best to you and Jim.
Mike
You two have been so kind in sharing your adventures with all of us. I’m so glad the stories will continue and we will be able to continue to come along for the ride. 🩷
Safe travels!
Nan
Thank you, Nan!
Safe travels back “home”! Guy is one lucky kids to have two such awesome grandparents. Please add me on the list of people who would love to catch up on a trip to Indiana. Wishing you two all the best!
Hi Rachel! Thanks for your kind words. You’re definitely on the “visit the Hoosiers” list!
Wishing you safe travels & Mary prayers for a complete recovery. Hope the wind will blow you back to visit all your friends who love you in Columbus, IN
Thank you, Leigh!
Mike – I always think about how much your adventures with Mary are an inspiration to myself and Jon! We have learned a lot just reading along. It is exciting to catch up on these developments, and you’re headed to a beautiful new chapter. Wishing you smooth travels ahead!
Hi Melanie,
Thanks for your note and your kind words. I hope you and your family are having a great summer.
Mike
Hi Mike! This is the first time I’m seeing your blog, not sure how I lost track as I did hear you moved to Portugal. I retired December 2023 with the package offering and happily enjoying retirement. Hope to continue to stay connected through your stories. Nice writing!
Hi Monica! Welcome to the funhouse. I’m happy we’re reconnected and very happy that you’re enjoying retirement. How did we tolerate working all those years?
Mike
Pretty amazing all that we do and tolerate before retirement 🤣 perhaps it all makes retirement so much more worthwhile and appreciated.
So happy for you two. May the travels continue and the time with family be joyous.
P.S. Still miss you as one of the best bosses ever.
Thanks, Jana! P.S. – I always question your judgement about bosses. 😉
You’ve certainly had a wonderful experience and been thoughtful enough to share it so that we can enjoy it vicariously! It will be wonderful to have you back in the US…and hope you will ‘visit’ Columbus long enough to catch up with the many folks who’ve missed you!
Hi Carol,
Thanks for your comment. I’m sure we’ll get back to Columbus some time and will look forward to catching up with friends.
Mike
Welcome back to the U.S. to my roomie and her husband! Maybe we’ll find a time and place to visit, I hope! We are fortunate to have 2 grandchildren nearby, but the other 2 are in Krakow and provide us with a need to travel at least once a year. Congratulations on the grandson and best wishes for your travels to a new home!!
Hi Mary,
Thanks for your note. We are counting down the days until we move!
Mike
I am so happy for you two to become full time grandparents. You will LOVE it!! There’s nothing like it. Love to both of you as you embark on your new adventure❤️❤️
Thank you, Julia! Our best to you and Gene, too.
Mike and Mary, so happy to hear that you all are moving back. What a great reason to come back and a beautiful place to relocate. Tremendous recap of your 3 hour tour….no wait, that was Gilligan’s Island. 3 year tour. Interesting timing as next week would have been the week we were thinking of going to visit. Looking forward to seeing you all again soon. Best and safe travels. John
Thanks, John. We’re looking forward to catching up with lots of folks we’ve missed seeing for three years.
Dear Mary and Mike,
While this post is thought provoking and positive (as all your posts are), it’s also bittersweet. It’s really hard to see you two go, but how lucky we were to have met you! We’ve had a lot of laughs in a relatively short amount of time, which we will continue by way of Zoom if not in person somewhere. And what a beautiful place of the world you’re going to, with the blessing of family close by. I’ve no doubt that you two will create adventures in whatever you do, wherever you are. Thank you for sharing some of them here, queridos cozinheira e escritor. <3
Thank you, Melinda. Yes, I see some Zoom or WhatsApp calls in our future!
Mike and Mary – Very insightful, concise and thoughtful summary of your Portugal experience. Karen and I are happy and excited about your return to the good ol USA. I’m sure Guy is estatic as well as Will, Julia and the girls. I hope we can get together on one of your INDY trips or visit you in WA.
Thanks, Bob! We’ll catch up sometime, somewhere.
Well Mike that’s part on down sizing Probably Mary fault she had the best bedroom in the house A BIG welcome to the good old USA
Thanks, Eddie!
Exciting news! Thanks for sharing the lessons and tips for us. Best of wishes for you in ID. Probably some interesting Portuguese recipes already in your pockets for all the potatoes you’ll have at hand.
Hi Jon. It’s great to hear from you. There’s a similarity between Portuguese cuisine and Hoosier cuisine. Here they serve rice with potatoes. In Indiana we were often served noodles with potatoes. Nothing like a little extra starch and carbs!
Have a great week.
Welcome home (soon!), Mike and Mary! I have loved reading your posts and learning about Portugal and all of your adventures. Happy that you’ll get to be an up-close part of baby Guy’s life. Your new destination looks gorgeous! When you’re in the area visiting daughters, please let us know! Oh – and you’re going to be home in time to cast 2 very important votes! 😉
Thanks, Karen! We’re definitely going to cast those votes.
Dear Mary and Mike, a very well-known song goes at one point “Every time we say goodbye it hurts”. This is what Melinda and I will soon feel when you leave Portugal. Meeting you has been a wonderful phase of our life in Lisbon and we hope to meet you as soon as possible on the banks of the Snake River. You are wonderful people.
Thank you, Livio. Knowing you and Melinda has been a great part of our time in Lisbon. Come visit us out West!
Mazel tov on your next adventure moving back to the states. It’s been wonderful reading your blog for the last few years. We know your decision to move back and still travel will be a good one. Grandchildren are “the best”. Our 4 are now all in their 20’s and we wouldn’t have wanted to miss them growing up and participate in their life for anything ❤️
Thanks, Alice!
Mary & Mike, I really enjoyed reading your blog today….and I wish you all the happiness in your next move! For me, being near grandchildren is absolutely priceless….so, my unsolicited opinion is that you will definitely be happy with your decision! I also appreciate your honest “advice” to anyone considering doing something similar…..very helpful insights! All the best to you both!!
Thanks, Sheryl!
So excited to hear you are moving back to the US and closer to us on the same coast. Safe travels and enjoy your last month abroad. We have enjoyed all your adventures and great travel experiences! Love, Sue and Eddie
Thanks, Sue. We’re looking forward to being closer to all our extended family again. And this time, we’ll be on the right (or left) side of the country to make visiting you and Eddie a lot easier. Love to you both!
My wife and I are also Bee-bee and Pop-pop to our 5 year old granddaughter. It is by far the best title we’ve ever had. They recently moved back to Columbus, and it’s been wonderful to be engaged in her life and watching her grow. I’m sure you’ll love every minute of your time with your grandson. Welcome back to the US!
Hi Craig. Thanks for your note. We had the foolish idea that we could pick our grandparent names, and submitted them for approval. Guy had a different idea. But whatever he wants to call us is ok.
Have a great week,
Mike
Mike and Mary, well written recap of your Portugal adventures, learnings, and life’s happiness!
Wishing you both the very best in your journey and travels to Idaho!
Hope to see you back in the US!
Best regards,
Hi Steve. It’s great to hear from you. Thanks for your good wishes. We look forward to seeing you when we’re in Indy next.
Marvelous, insightful reflections on your experiences here in Portugal. We are so glad you chose to be our neighbors for a year or so here in Lisboa and I will miss your smile and stories at our Saturday morning LAGS coffees, Mike, as well as our occasional cigars across from the bull ring. Let’s get a date on the calendar for us to have you over para um jantar before you folks take your next step on your journey!
David
Thanks, David. We will miss you, the afternoon cigars, and, of course, Sarah!
Beautifully written post, Mike and Mary! Paul and I will miss our “Parede Neighbors” but wish you all the best in your next adventure. -CW
Thanks Carol. We will miss both of you, but I trust we’ll stay connected.
We will miss you though certainly know how to keep in touch. On to the next adventure…beijinhos
Thanks, Nancy!